The day after Valentine's Day

Unlocked cell phone:  AUS$20.  New Zealand SIM card:  NZ$5.  New Zealand phone plan:  NZ$50.  Price to call the States:  NZ$4.50.  Talking to my dad live for the first time in five months and on his birthday?  Priceless.

I miss my dad very much, surprisingly more than many people I left to study abroad.  Maybe it’s because our relationship is the most difficult for me to explain of any I have with anybody.  It’s not complicated but it’s not shallow. We agree on much of the way life should be lived but disagree on why.  Sometimes a lot is said and sometimes silence is the only answer.  He used to expect a lot from me and now I expect a lot from myself.  I think at this rate he has no expectations since the way it is just is, yet I still love his approval, or I love to increase his pride.  Either way, he loves me best.  After I had been in Africa for a few weeks, he told me that sometimes, as he would when I was still in Denver, call my phone on his way home from work just to catch up or lay a load off on one of the only people he feels understands.  The voice alerting him that the number had been disconnected always reminded him I was gone.  Imagining his face, his sigh, and his sadness breaks my heart.  I hate having left home because I know it hurts him.  Being at DU and so near to home brought him some comfort.  When I would go up the mountain to visit him, Carol, and the kids, even if we only say two or three words to each other, I knew he was at peace just knowing I was under his roof.  I miss my dad very much.  When I think about him I know that my missing him will bring me home.